Egg Retrieval

Well, I had my ER on Friday.  Went pretty smooth and pain free - except for the 3 times they had to stick me to get the IV in.  They were able to get 15 eggs.  The only part that annoyed me was no one called me the next day to give me the fertilization report.  I waited as patiently as I could - but no call.  I finally left a message with the answering service and got a call back the following day.  By that time, I was pissed!  I know they do this every day, so it is not a big deal....but it is a pretty big deal in my life! I almost expected them to tell me something had went terribly wrong and no eggs fertilized or something.

12 eggs were mature and 11 fertilized.  I believe this is good.  They are waiting until day 5 for ET....I assume because there are so many eggs to choose from.  I still haven't heard back about what time.  I will give it til mid-day tomorrow before I call.  I hate to be over the top...but there are just some things I need to know.  I am a planner...so this flying by the seat of my pants thing doesn't work well.

When do they tell me how many eggs they are going to put back - or what quality they are?  I assume they will cover all that when I go in for ET, but who knows!

I feel like I am almost done here!  Except for the shots in the butt,,,,the unpleasant stuff is mostly over.  Although, I imagine the 2WW will be the hardest part for me personally!  I can handle a few shots, but the unknown will kill me. 

Date set!

Well, I got the good news yesterday that I have a date for egg retrieval.  I go in Friday morning.  Looks like I have about 25 follicles.  That is good I hope.  Fingers crossed that all goes well, and I get plenty of good eggs to freeze (hoping that isn't going to be necessary)

I had to come up with a story/plan for work.  That has been the biggest stress to me.  It is so difficult not being able to have exact dates until the very last minute. Seems a little odd from a medical standpoint.  I think I made a bigger deal of it in my head then it really is. 

I was a little worried about the trigger shot last night - as I have been doing the shots myself, and this one my husband had to do.  I think he was pretty nervous too.  It wasn't as bad as I expected.  Barely noticed the needle poke.  Certainly do have a sore butt muscle today though. 

I feel like the hard part is over, and it is all down hill from here.  Of course, that really isn't true.  I imagine the 2WW is probably the hardest part (mentally and emotionally).  But, the physical hard part is over.  I feel like a stuffed Thanksgiving turkey today, so I will be glad to get these follies out! 

I am trying to take one step at a time, but I can't help but to look forward as to when everything else is going to take place.  I believe they give you the pregnancy test 14 days after your ER....so that puts me on Christmas Eve.  We are going about 4 hours away to stay with my parents on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.....so I am wondering how that is all going to work.  Will they test a day early you think?  What a wonderful Christmas present that would be for me. How many of you took a home pregnancy test prior to that?  I would like to think I could wait for the "official" results...but I am very impatient and doubt I could hold out.  How soon can you test and get reasonably accurate results? 

I am back!

I haven't posted in a few days.  Mainly because I have been exhausted!  I am on day 7 of my stims - and I feel like it is taking EVERYTHING out of me.  I imagine it is the physical combined with the emotional/mental.  By the time I get home from work, I feel like I could go to bed.  I had an appt yesterday - and I have 14 follicles on one, and 13 on the other.  I guess it stands to reason why my body is tired.  I have supercharged ovaries right now.  I am hoping I am in the home stretch - because I am starting to feel uncomfortable.  I also am having a harder time with the shots.  I find I have less loose skin to grab around my stomach- and it is making it harder for the needle to go in.  I have another appointment Wednesday - so I am hoping they can estimate when my ER will be.  Fingers crossed that it will fall on the weekend.

I am having the hardest time with the work thing.  I don't think it is a good move for me to be up front about what is going on.  I have mentioned that I will need a medical procedure (non-life threatening) mid-December.  But, I wish I had a date that I could tell them.  I think it seems odd that I cannot pinpoint a date until the last minute.  Maybe they do not even notice - but I just am trying my best to keep this private, and I am worried about these last details.  I have so far been able to make all my appointments without being late for work.

 It is unfair - but I feel like I may be looked down upon for this (from a work standpoint)if they knew what was going on.  In my previous job, I was a manager.  We had a woman get hired and then about 6 months later she was pregnant and took a full 6 months off for the baby (under the family medical leave act).  At that time - I was irritated with her, because we were required to hold open her position.  We had to hire another person, re-train someone, etc.  It was costly and then she ended up quitting anyways.  I guess that made me see why women often get discriminated against.  As unfair and illegal as it is - who wants to hire someone that has the potential of needing a maternity leave or leave of absence?  I am sure employers find another way to not hire or to fire a woman employee - but you just wonder how much of it is based on the fact that she is a woman in childbearing years.

OK sorry...back on track.  I have an accupuncture appointment tonight.  It will be my second one.  I don't know how relaxed it made me feel....but I figured I am going to try everything I can to make this first try the last try!  It is costly (when added on to everything else) but I am finding a way to make to work.  I am going to have her there on ET day as well.  I read online that it can help blood flow to the uterus, and help relieve stress.  Can't hurt. They should really do a clinical trial on acupunture - and try to get some data on how much it can (or can't) improve IVF or fertility.  It is hard to find data on it - since regular doctors don't seem on board with this type of thing -- they are more science based.  It would be interesting. 

If anyone has any feedback on acupuncture or their own work situation...please share

Happy Friday!

Well, I am on day 3 of my stims and I have my first doctor's appt this morning to see how everything was going.  I was a little unsure on what they would say - as I have not really felt any side effects yet.  I was thinking maybe nothing was going on in there - since I didn't feel anything.  All good news....they could see 18 follicles (ranging in size).  The nurse said that was alot for only 3 days of medication.  Yeah ovaries!  And I thought my ovaries were old!  They did caution me not to bend, stretch, or lift.  I have been doing yoga - so I guess that is out.  I have to take care of these eggs! 

I can see how you could get a little obsessive about number, size, etc.  As soon as I got back from the appointment, I jumped online to judge how good my ovaries were doing.  I have no basis for comparison, so I wanted to know if that was normal, above average, or what.  Then I had to try to figure out what size they should be at this stage.  I imagine that everyone is different, and our bodies respond at different rates.  So really - obsessing over size and numbers is silly.  I should relax and try to take good care of my little eggs.

The beginning stages are tough!

Well, here I am on day 3 of my stim meds.  I consider myself a pretty tough person.  I was not concerned in the least with having to give myself shots.  Matter of fact, I was considering trying to learn how to administer the "butt shots" myself too -- so my husband did not have to do it.  Well, last night I thought I was an old pro by now (day 2 and all), and to my surprise, I could not get the needle to go in.  I had to poke 3 times.  Needless to say, it hurt!  Looking back on it - I put the needle in and out of the vial like 4 times (because I was having trouble getting all the liquid out).  I guess poking that little needle thru the rubber several times must have either bent or dulled the needle.  So when I went to do it, it wouldn't go in.  Lesson learned, but now I am scared to do it.  I am a little sore, so I have been sitting here obsessing about having to give myself a shot tonight.  I know when it comes down to it -- I will do it. I have to.  Just don't want to!

The first few days are a little tough.  Not in the sense of feeling bad, or horrible side effects yet.  More of the unknown.  Waiting for those side effects to set in, waiting to have that first Dr. appt to see how things are progressing, waiting to find out when ER/ET will be, and on and on.  I am a planner -- so I did alot of research, consideration, etc before I started.  So, I guess I thought I had it all under control.  I have relaxation tapes, did some acupunture, read a book about IVF, researched online, etc.  Now that I have actually started, I guess I feel prepared and ready -- but still scared of the unknown.

Everyone wish me luck on the shot tonight.  I am sure once I do it, I will be fine again.  Just had a bad experience and now I am a little gun shy. 

For Anyone Interested....

I wanted to pass along information on a clinical trial in Michigan.  If you qualify, it will cover up to 4 IUI cycles for free.  When I first came across it, I thought it was most likely a scam.  Well, I went in two times and met with them -- and it is totally legitimate.  I was seriously considering doing it -- because the cost of IVF was such a factor to me.  In the end, I decided I did not want to wait due to my age....but it is a great program that is worth looking in to.  The staff seemed great.  I would have qualified for the program (even thought I only have one tube and am 39).

Here is the website with more information:
http://c2s2.yale.edu/rmn

Decision Made!

I am back!  I haven't been on in a few days - partly due to the holidays, but also have been busy.  I have been running back and forth to doctors appts, trying to make a decision. Well, after much thought, I have decided to move forward with IVF. I was on the fence about trying the clinical trial for IUI for a few months (because heck, it was free).  After much consideration - I just do not want to waste time.  Two different doctors think there may be some scar tissue on my one "good" tube that is causing some problems.  If this is the case, IUI most likely would be worthless.  Given my age, I just do not want to wait and see!  I am going to bite the bullet and get out the checkbook!  The whole $$$ thing has been my biggest obstacle in my mind, but once I just decided to go for it -- I felt like a weight has been lifted.  I have accepted the fact that I am putting a huge dent in my savings account.  I have moved past the "it's not fair" line of thinking.  I have mentally prepared myself for all the shots and doctors appointments.  I am ready to go.

I start my stim meds tonight.  Not too worried about the shot itself, but I am worried about the side effects.  I have been on Clomid in the past, and that was not great to say the least.  The bloating and pressure was bad!  From everything I have read online, I get to look forward to that all over again.  I just feel like I was back down to my normal size!! 

I feel like I am well prepared.  I have a meditation CD, have cut down to 1 cup of coffee, have a healthy diet, have been doing yoga and exercising.  I am so ready.  Which leads me to my question for today.....how do you balance being optimisitic with being cautious?  I read that a positive attitude is essential.  But, I wonder if it would make it that much harder to deal with if I get a BFN.  I have every reason to believe this will work....my FSH level was good (6), the doctor said I have good follicles and good lining -- he even said we had a 50-70% chance in his opinion.  What if it doesn't?  I have mentally and financially prepared myself for 2 rounds (given the odds the Dr gave me I would think 2 times?!?!).  So, worse case scenario, round one does not work -- maybe they haven't quite figured out the meds for me, or something else goes wrong.  They can make the necessary adjustments for round 2.  I just wonder if this line of thinking could be devestating for me down the road if things do NOT go that way.  I WANT to believe - but just how much?